I was in a crowded room weeding through people looking for my Prince Charming I was to meet. Before I passed a man in a dark suit, about 5'10" w/a build on the medium/slim side, I noticed he had put his hands behind his back for me to grab them. When I did he turned around to face me and to my surprise it was MY DAD!!!!:-) Oh my god I was so happy to see him that I'd forgotten about Prince Charming. I grabbed my father and hugged him only to feel the wool fabric of his suit under my chin and his warm cheek on my cheek. I cried and cried and just held him tight. Before I could speak he whispered into my ear that what he and my mother had was something very special and ETERNAL. I asked, "Dad, what are you doing?, Where are you now?" He didn't answer me but rather held me tight w/both arms and whispered in my ear Sretan Rodjendan Sine Moj (Happy Birthday). Then I woke up. It was right before dawn.
Tomorrow will be 8 yrs to the day that my dad left us. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Of course my regrets are that I didn't hug him more than I did and give him kisses each time I passed him:-) I was very close w/my father and would visit him and my mother every weekend. As soon as my son was able to spend the night at baba and deda's house, he did. I'd drop him off on Friday and pick him up on Sunday, which is also when I would visit w/my folks. We spoke on the phone a few times a day.
My father died suddenly November 5, 2002. By the time I arrived to the hospital the ambulance had whisked him away. When I called they told me to come in. I was four months pregnant. I drove to the hospital to be greeted by some admin who wanted me to fill out a stack of forms and have a seat. Really bitch? You must be joking. I ignored the forms she was handing me and demanded I see my father. The doctor called me into a private room and told me that my dad did not make it. I was in a complete state of shock and will never forget the rainy day w/leaves half off the old trees that line Sunnyside Street.
I took care of all of the arrangements. I was still in a state of shock. Even after the service I was in a state of shock. And 8 years later I still can't believe it. I had a few 'dreams' a couple of weeks after my dad died. They were always me visiting some huge expansive grassy knoll someplace near an ocean. My father was always there waiting for me. I'd always hug him and cry and he would just smile and hold me. The 5th dream I had also took place on the grassy knoll but this time he told me he had to go. I asked him where, why???? Then he gave me a stern look and said, 'you of all people know I can't answer that.' I have not dreamed of him since until this morning. This morning when he hugged me, gave me the message for my mom and wished me a happy birthday.
Daddy my little daddy, I know you are always around. My dad's death has made me believe in something but I've stopped trying to figure out what it is. Don't be afraid to show love, because true LOVE is ETERNAL:-) xoxoxox D
Tomorrow will be 8 yrs to the day that my dad left us. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Of course my regrets are that I didn't hug him more than I did and give him kisses each time I passed him:-) I was very close w/my father and would visit him and my mother every weekend. As soon as my son was able to spend the night at baba and deda's house, he did. I'd drop him off on Friday and pick him up on Sunday, which is also when I would visit w/my folks. We spoke on the phone a few times a day.
My father died suddenly November 5, 2002. By the time I arrived to the hospital the ambulance had whisked him away. When I called they told me to come in. I was four months pregnant. I drove to the hospital to be greeted by some admin who wanted me to fill out a stack of forms and have a seat. Really bitch? You must be joking. I ignored the forms she was handing me and demanded I see my father. The doctor called me into a private room and told me that my dad did not make it. I was in a complete state of shock and will never forget the rainy day w/leaves half off the old trees that line Sunnyside Street.
I took care of all of the arrangements. I was still in a state of shock. Even after the service I was in a state of shock. And 8 years later I still can't believe it. I had a few 'dreams' a couple of weeks after my dad died. They were always me visiting some huge expansive grassy knoll someplace near an ocean. My father was always there waiting for me. I'd always hug him and cry and he would just smile and hold me. The 5th dream I had also took place on the grassy knoll but this time he told me he had to go. I asked him where, why???? Then he gave me a stern look and said, 'you of all people know I can't answer that.' I have not dreamed of him since until this morning. This morning when he hugged me, gave me the message for my mom and wished me a happy birthday.
Daddy my little daddy, I know you are always around. My dad's death has made me believe in something but I've stopped trying to figure out what it is. Don't be afraid to show love, because true LOVE is ETERNAL:-) xoxoxox D
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